Mangled Heart

So lately I've been accused of changing. "How?" you ask. I don't know. I don't believe I've changed. Well, other than the fact that I'm happier and it feels like maybe a dream or two I refused to allow myself to have may actually come true. Without going into specifics (now be still your heart! I'll go into them eventually, just not right now!) I will let you know that TV and movies and books have taught me that a parent is to love their child unconditionally. You can agree or disagree, I don't care. This is my blog and I'm putting down my thoughts on this subject. But like I said, a parent is to love their child unconditionally. I thought I had this. But I feel as though I have been sorely mistaken. You see, there was a young man I met about 5 or 6 years ago. When I first met him, it was like the world faded away into oblivion and all background noise was silenced. It was him and only him that I had eyes for. Which, if you knew me then, was completely out of character for me!! I gave up on the idea of love when I was 16. But here was this young man, throwing that notion out of the water!! We exchanged numbers and started talking and texting almost immediately...long story short, abt out a month later, he said he didn't feel we could really have a relationship because of the distance factor....I just thought he was trying to gently let me down. But always, ALWAYS, we'd get back in touch....and then things would die down....for years this was our cycle.....and life happened and he....well, he became a dad. So I forced myself to not think about him. My life pretty much went screwy ever since.....fast forward to today and this man and I are talking again. With the exception that now he truly wants to move forward. And he hinted at this before but I refused to allow myself to believe this. But it's true. What happened next was my mother at first being accepting and then going on a tirade that I was a whore and broke up a family (none of which is true) and her turning my sisters on me and attempting to turn family, friends, and EVEN OUR FELLOW PARISHONERS AT CHURCH against me!!! And she hasn't given up though she acts all lovey-dovey to my face. So now my heart is mangled. I want to be with this person who makes me happy and proud of who I am and not at all self-conscious. But I can't help but feel betrayed at this woman whom I FORGAVE for HER acts of indiscretion and debauchery....this woman who gave birth to me....I don't know if things will ever be the same between us. But I know that she never gave him a chance and she refuses to listen to me. So if you're a parent out there, put yourself in the shoes of your child. Would you have wanted your parents to treat you unjustly? Are you doing that now? I know there's more than one side to every story, but at least attempt to read the other half of the chapter before giving your review.